For days I sit on this rock

Allowing the ocean to attack me

Never moving from it

Because I’ve been told

He would come.

I was told that if I waited

Right where I was

He would come to me

Rescue me from this rock

From these waves

From the cold.

Days turned to months

Months turned to years

He never came.

As I rise to look around

I realized what all I’ve lost.

Not just the time

Not just the empty promises

Not just the dreams

I lost everything;

The feeling of being in love

Someone willfully and wantingly

Crawling into bed with me

Making love to me.

I’ve lost friends that told me my faith

Had gone a little too far this time.

I had to to each of them

Apologize for not listening.

Then I had to look into a mirror

And ask myself

Why I didn’t let go

Years ago..

Before I lost the desire to love

Before I lost the ability to tell someone I love them

Before I lost the willingness to give someone a chance.

 

The day I stood from that rock

Looked around me

Realized he left me in peril;

For years

I also realized

He never loved me

Not even for a minute.

 

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