She was looking so desperately for love

That when a man would glance at her

She would swear he was the one

She had been looking for all her life.

Her legs spread faster than a car door opens

When someone wants to exit

Which is difficult to do with her

Since she latches on, like a leech.


I went to go speak to her

About the beauty of being independent

When I arrived

She swore to me

She had forbidden any man

To get anywhere near her.


I then had to tell her

“Excuse me

But you seem to have some semen on your chin.”